Death in the Family-More Transparency, Please

We had two deaths in my family this winter. Even though I didn’t have many official responsibilities, while responding to other family members and friends of those involved, I was struck by the sheer number of things to carry out in a short amount of time.

To quote my friend E. K.:

 …Just suppose, your spouse, your adult child or your best friend gets a big surprise, that is, out of the blue, he or she is to:
The Bedford ~  safe deposit boxes b&w1) Suddenly handle final arrangements, like a funeral? burial? cremation?
2) Figure out a three-foot stack of ‘papers’.
3) Sort out a lifetime of household ‘stuff’.’

I have created a workbook that will help you prepare for this day, which could be tomorrow, or in 25 years.

This book will also help you prepare for:

  • an overseas adventure-especially if someone else will manage your assets/residence for you
  • a sudden accident where your health care trustee needs to step in and get your bills paid, the dog taken care of and renew your prescriptions
  • any unexpected health situation where you will need help afterwards. (sudden back injury/surgery, torn ACL, hip replacement, stroke)
  • you or your parents (attention baby boomers!) prepare for a move or the end of life.

There are sections for completion on everything from household pets, to important documents, to whom to tell at work if you can’t come in the next day. We all know we should do this, but it is hard to set aside the time and create a record from scratch.

  1. For example, who knows about your small business, if something happens to you? Eight years ago, another friend of the family suffered a fatal auto accident. An owner of a test proctoring company, a computer expert had to be found-STAT, to figure out how break into her email. A scheduled test less than 48 hours later meant that someone else had to be found to give the exam. The other household member didn’t know her passwords. This was a hard task to get done while everyone was grieving their sudden loss.

2. Who will take care of and play with your cat?

Pet my tummy pleaseIf you need to “recruit” a personal representative and have this information ready for them, their job will be easier. For folks out there who have helped their parents with their finances, life planning and downsizing, what have you done to make this job easier? I’d love to hear about your successes.

If you are in Seattle, I am teaching a class on May 23rd where you will receive a copy of the workbook and we will discuss the reasoning for each section. View the class description and sign up at Brown Paper Tickets . [Update] next class is October 10th and November 7th, 2012.

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